Sleeping In Cars & Toilet Seat Covers..

I am in my third day of my trip but tomorrow will be my first official day standing out in a crowd of individuals wearing a fluorescent green sandwich board, in hopes they will want to contribute a dollar to my dream. And who wouldn't want to give a buck to a strange person on the side of the street standing next to a car with signatures on it?

Up until this point all of trip has been my traveling to my first destination: Colorado. Indeed, Colorado has blessed the 4th of July weekend with a cornucopia of festivals that range from rodeos to the arts. The fine people of this nation apparently visit all, in droves, so I think it will be my duty to pay them all a visit.

Last night I drove for thirteen hours straight as I passed through the Utah rocks and the Colorado green. My exhaustion finally hit at 2AM when I pulled off at a motel parking lot to see if I could catch some shuteye. Well, that didn't happen. I spent an hour tossing and turning in the backseat in an effort to fit my legs in a way they wouldn't be smashed up against the backseat window. That didn't happen so I drove another hour or so and came upon yet another motel parking lot. I was finally able to fall asleep but it was short lived as I awoke an hour and a half later. By then it was a little after 5AM and the light was out. So, I decided to blow caution to the wind and keep a trucking to Denver.

I was hoping to do some fundraising today but my lack of not having showered in two days infused with my own lack of sleep made for a hell of a combination of my own crankiness mixed in with my own looking like crappiness (okay, so "crappiness" is not an actual word- but you know what I mean).

My fairy godmother came in the form of my cousin Kelly, who lives in
Colorado Springs. Before I knew it I was at her house having showered and taken a nap. Oh, never take for granted the almighty shower- it's your friend don't forget that!

So in a nutshell what are the lessons for today's journal entry. One, sleeping in the backseat is an ideal situation for those with a large car/truck. You folks who own the small sedans like myself, I urge you to refrain from such activities and simply stay in the front seat until a more suitable match can be found. My final word of advice to you all is simple- if you plan on traveling through Utah or Colorado- bring your own paper toilet seat cover. They are not included in a free trip to the restroom. Good luck to you all and use this information well..

Happy 4th of July.

A Tornado, A Kid Named Leo & Never Giving Up..

Hi Again!

Well, I am writing to you live from Minneapolis, Minnesota. It's a really pretty state and the people here seem to be nice. Okay, so picture this. A girl who choose the last row and last seat in her class, a girl who would never raise her hand to speak up in front of others, in fact this girl even once had a friend write a fictitious doctors note in an effort to get out of an speaking assignment in front of the class. Let's just say she had this absolute fear of speaking in front of others. Now years later this same person is standing out on the major thoroughfare in Colorado exuberantly (okay, so I was pretending to be) waving my hands and shouting "Dollar 4 a Dream".

Let me just say that as embarrassed as I thought I would be- times that by another million or so. The first half hour or so was horrible. My hands shook and I felt as if I would pass out at any minute. Plus, the sun was hot and it seemed to be reflecting off my fluorescent green poster, and was therefore trapping all the heat into the chest area of my body.

There was a car show going on behind me and so the sidewalks were lined with people everywhere. Men, women, children even dogs, they were all out in droves for all the 4th festivities and all staring at the strange individual standing before them. At first I just stared ahead to all the people in their cars who were stopped at the light. Of course, the street I was standing on was the only way to get into town so let's just say there were a lot of people who passed, waved, shouted and honked before me. People would walk behind me and I would not talk to them I would just stare ahead to the traffic in front of me, as I figured if they wanted to give a dollar they would (bad thought). Finally, this young boy who couldn't have been more than 12 drove by on his bike and put a dollar into my bucket and never once uttered a word. I told him "thank you" and informed him he could sign my car. "Leo R" as I later came to find out was my first official customer who gave me a dollar for standing on the street.

Everyone kept walking by (other than Leo R) and just kept ignoring me. I was petrified, embarrassed and faced with the reality that I made a huge mistake by doing this trip. Well, after twenty minutes or so of basking in my own self-pity I realized that I obviously needed to change my presentation tactics. So I turned around toward the people walking behind me and as they came by I would say, "Dollar 4 a Dream." When you look at people face to face and talk to them they are a lot more willing to talk to you and find out what you are all about- and of course give you a dollar. Now two days later and a few hundred dollars closer to my dream I am in Minnesota.

Yesterday, I went to the Mall of America and set up my operation in one of the outdoor public parking lots. Roughly twenty minutes after doing so, I was told by officer "Mark" that it was illegal to solicit/promote at MOA. Well, this was just dandy. Everything is so spread out that is now hindering my ability to park anywhere that is legal. I may have to leave the car behind and just take my eccentrically decorated money pail and simply walk up people (they just won't be able to sign my car this way). This kind of work would enable to go to the ballgames/concerts as I can just go up to the crowds waiting outside, since I won't be able to catch them in the parking lot. Of course, if you have any suggestions, tips, thoughts, etc. you can email me at Stephanie@dollar4adream and let me know.

Unfortunately as I write this, a severe storm is hitting this state and all the surrounding states. Basically, I am stuck and I can't get out. The northern part of Minnesota has tornadoes warnings for this evening and all the other routes heading east is on alert because of heavy rain, severe thunderstorms, and flash flooding. Oy Vey! So until further notice I am grounded in Minneapolis, sleeping in my car. Hey, it's character building I tell you...

Well, I must run as Kinko's charges an arm and leg to use their computers (damn corporate bastards)...Before I leave I went to leave you with today's lessons. One, soliciting is illegal at Mall of America. Two, Mall of America has notices on the entrance doors stating, "No guns allowed at the Mall." Now I ask you- shouldn't this be the "norm" for all malls. I mean "duh", of course no guns should be allowed. Three, a boy named "Leo R" is my new hero. Four, Minnesota gets tornadoes. And five, Minnesota does not have paper toilet seat covers either. Am I asking for too much here folks? Just some germ protection would be nice.

Take care.
Love,
Stephanie

Random Trip Facts to Date....

ODDEST SIGN: Pass with Care (as compared to what? Passing with extreme hostility?)

ONLY IN WISCONSIN: Only in Wisconsin would you see a large billboard that reads "Fireworks and Cheese- Next Exit"

FUNNIEST NAME: Hands down winner in this category belongs to the "Ho-Chunk Casino" in Wisconsin.

APOLOGIES TO: My heartfelt apologies to all the deer of this nation. Never before have I seen so many of you lying dead on the side of the road (note to reader I have not hit any yet). It was your home first and I am sorry the implementation of our countries highways and roads, have led to so many of your deaths.

THANK HEAVENS FOR: Two words: CRUISE CONTROL

BIGGEST SURPRISE: Iowa. Who knew what a beautiful state Iowa was. I arrive in Iowa shortly before 4AM and what I saw was indeed a magnificent sight to behold. The morning clouds were rolling through and they were so low they appeared to be kissing the land.

SCARIEST SIGHT: Cornfields. I am sorry but cornfields are scary. Honestly, I would rather park next to a cemetery than a cornfield. I have just seen to many movies where weird things happen in cornfields. "Field of Dreams," "Signs," and "Children of the Corn" to name a few. I know many of you wonder why "Field of Dreams" made the list as it was not intended to be scary but hello there were dead, grumpy, ex-baseball players coming to life. I don't want to run into them thank you..

BOO: A big "booooooooo" goes out to the toll system. On Highway 80 in Indiana it cost me $5.00 to go through the toll way. Hell, for that amount of money I expect to see bands on the side of the road performing and local officials passing out lemonade to the vehicles driving by

An Angel, A Cop & Bob

Greetings, to all from the Windy City. Let me just start by saying where Stephanie goes apparently bad weather follows. Indeed, I am in constant competition with a storm front that I just can't seem to shake. But what can you expect from our friend mother nature.

Well, I shall begin by getting everyone up to speed on what's been happening with my mission. After my run-in with the law at the Mall of America I decided to try my luck in St. Paul. Let me state that I love St. Paul. It is so beautiful- I had no idea. The beauty of the entire Midwest has come as complete shock to me (I suppose that would be natural considering I have never been here before). In the St. Paul area all the neighborhoods have a Boston, New York City and English countryside kind of feel to them. They actually have Carriage Houses that they rent out as apartments. I think I took an entire roll of film here.

Anyway, in St. Paul I couldn't seem to find large crowds matriculating in one place (as it was a Monday) so I took the next logical step. Now realize my next logical step would most likely not even come close to what your "next logical step" would be. However, for me this meant one thing- go door to door. Yes, that's right I decided to be that annoying pest we all hate to see when we open the door- the almighty solicitor.

Of course, first I called my friend Judy about my plan and she suggested I call the St. Paul police to check on their laws regarding door-to-door soliciting. After getting the run around from every department this side of the Mississippi I decided to blow caution to the wind (or in my case handcuffs) and just go ahead until I was told not to. So I picked a neighborhood that had a "good vibe" and off I went. Surprisingly, I wasn't nearly as nervous as I had anticipated. I guess it's just a lot easier for me to deal with people on a one to one basis than standing in front of a large group of them.

Upon my arrival at the door I would ring the doorbell then hold my breath and wait for the door to open. As soon as it did off I went on my spiel. "Hi, my name is Stephanie and I am driving across the country trying to collect one dollar from everyone in America so I can make a movie. I was wondering if you would be interested in contributing."

This statement was usually followed by "Huh. What is this for?" I would then repeat myself but this time at a slower rate. And, I am happy to report that most people were really great about it. A woman named Helen was even so excited at what I was doing she wanted to personally take me to all the neighbors because she knew she could force them all into giving me money(hey no objections from me).

I was doing fine until I came to a cantankerous man whom I shall refer to as "Bob", who was very displeased by my going to his door. He said, "I will not be part of this scam young lady." Scam? Apparently, this mission of mine was a fraud. To Bob I was just a local St. Paul gal who thought I would find a quick way to make a few bucks for my drugs and alcohol (if only my quest was this easy). Bob proceeded to tell me that what I was doing was illegal and he would be calling the cops so I should leave. Yikes, what is with police and me? I took this cue as my sign to call it a day before I spent the night in the slammer. Seeing that I actually didn't have a place to stay that particular night the thought did cross my mind (only briefly of course). Besides that afternoon I had made roughly $175 so I was feeling good about myself.

Cut to yesterday when I made my way into Chicago. Naturally, upon my arrival rain and thunder made an appearance impeding any attempts to raise money. Luckily, I had a place to crash at so I could enjoy the comforts of a nice bed and hot shower.

This morning I made way into the city around 9AM. A heavy thunderstorm was expected to hit mid afternoon so I decided to get as much fundraising in as I possibly could. I headed over to Buckingham Fountain (you know the one in the opening of "Married with Children") because you could park near it (there by giving people the chance to actually sign the car) and it was cheap metered parking.

Things were going fine for the first hour until yet another cop approached me. Apparently, you cannot "publicly solicit" where I was at. So it basically amounts to the fact if I want to solicit at the fountain I need to do it "privately." Thankfully, the officer (whose name I did not get) was really cool about things and just told me to pack it up. He even suggested I go down by the water near Lake Shore Dr. (where ever the heck that is)...

Well, my friends that is all for now. Before I go I will leave you with today's journal lessons. One: where Stephanie goes- rain AND cops follows. Two, Helen in St. Paul is an angel. And three: "Bob" in St. Paul if you read this I am not a drug addict or an alcoholic just a crazy person with an actual tangible dream (well, I guess that could still be construed as a nasty addictive habit)..

Much Love, Stephanie.....

Random Thoughts In A Random World....

More Observations from the Road:

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Where in the world have all the phone books gone? It used to be if you were driving and were in need of locating a phone number of a person or business you could simply stop at a pay phone and one would be attached to the phone. NOT ANYMORE. Phone books are nowhere to be found. I'm sorry but why should I pay $2.00 to call information on my cell phone when I should be able to pull up at a pay phone and look the information up on my own- for free. I don't like this one bit!

HIGHWAY ANNOYANCES: There is nothing quite as annoying when you are driving down the road at night then having some person behind you who will not turn their headlights off. Haven't they read rule 227 in the Driving Handbook about shining your headlights within so many feet of another car. I would like to say its some rare occurrence but it wasn't. People everywhere seem to be adopting the habit of blinding all the cars within their vicinity. Oh, and don't even get me started on the diesel trucks that fail to turn their brights off. Stop the insanity!

SIGN OF THE TIMES: Have you ever seen the signs on the street corners that read "Car Accident. Info Wanted." Obviously, there was some car accident and one of the parties is looking for witnesses. Well, a recent sign in a small town in Ohio made me see that not everyplace moves at lighting speed. The sign read "Tractor Accident. Information Desperately Needed." Can you believe there was an accident involving a tractor? Tractors go what, 10 miles an hour? I want to know what did it hit? A red wagon, a mailbox, a little lawn jockey? And, do you have tractor insurance? Do places like AAA have a division that covers tractors? I mean do you think you could get pulled over by a cop when driving the tractor and the cop will ask for your license and proof of insurance?

WHAT ARE THEY THINKING? I have one thing to ask you people who talk on their cell phone while using the rest room- WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? I mean have we become so dependent upon the digital age that we can't part from the phone for two seconds. It's not like the person on the other end of the line can't hear you. I won't even address the whole germ issue. Ugh....

SAD NEWS: I'm sad to report that there are still no signs of any paper toilet seat covers. I had no idea this was a rare phenomenon.

"NAT"BRASKA: The award for the state with the most number of nats and other flying insects belongs to the state of Nebraska. It was so bad that I thought it was raining. I would drive and I would hear constant popping noises on the windshield. It got to the point where I had to pull over every hundred miles or so and clean off my windows because I couldn't see out.

ONLY IN CAPE COD: While stopping off at the McDonalds in Cape Cod to get a fountain drink I saw something that shocked me to my core. Yes, folks I would like to report that the McDonalds in Cape Cod serves- brace yourself- LOBSTER ROLLS. Yes, you heard me right, a McDonalds that serves lobster. It was $7.59 for the value meal and it had a big sign that read "real lobster." Now I don't believe McDonalds uses real meat why in the world would they use real lobster? I don't eat seafood but if I did I don't think I would trust McDonald's as my seafood souce.

HONEST TO GOODNESS: I can't believe it. It's 2003 and you can still gas up your car and then pay. I know it's shocking. I felt so honored that the fine people of Wisconsin trusted me enough to let me pump then pay. Thank you Wisconsin and your honest folks. I am proud as ever of my addiction to cheese (and that is the truth).

A Ghost, Clear Water & Metal Underwear

Happy trails my fellow readers....

Well, I am writing to you from the beautiful and overcast (what else is new) city of Boston. What a beautiful place. The history that you feel when you are walking down the streets is like no place I have ever been. The Freedom Trail, Samuel Addams grave, Boston Common and the Old State House- you feel the history all around. Every street, every building- you just become intoxicated with our countries past. It's just incredible. And add in the backdrop of the Atlantic Ocean and you realize what a special place this is.

SATURDAY:

When I met up with my friend, Becky, on Saturday she thought it was her Bostonian duty to show me around the city on foot. She took me everywhere and as I mentioned before I immediately fell in love with this great city (I've noticed I am falling in love with a lot of cities on this trip. There could be worse things I suppose).

On a freak occurrence note, while we walking by a graveyard something peculiar happened. It was around 7PM and the cemetery was closed and in the distance church bells started to ring. Suddenly, as if on cue a woman wearing colonial garb (yes, that's right- Colonial attire) started dancing in rhythm to the bells on the tomb of Ben Franklin's parents. She did these strange arm movement things and it was just bizarre.

As if this was not weird enough as soon as the bells stopped ringing she disappeared, and I mean disappeared into thin air. The cemetery was enclosed and we didn't see her leave and she wasn't at the tomb anymore- where the hell she went I do not know. Since it was late the cemetery was closed so how in the world did she even get inside? It was just really strange. It was odd enough this woman was dancing at the Franklin's tomb but then add in the fact she was wearing colonial garb and that my friends takes it to a whole new level. Becky and I cannot get over it. I've seen many a strange things in my day but I have to say this tops the cake or in this case tomb! On another note I was able to see all the great places to promote my mission. Of, course there is problem about where to park the car but I may just have to hit the fundraising trail without it.

SUNDAY:

Becky and I decided to head out to Cape Cod. Now neither of us had ever been to Cape Cod so we knew we would be in for a treat.

The Cape was absolutely beautiful. I just love East Coast beaches in general. The white sand, grass and rustic fences running up along the beach just far exceeds the beaches in Southern California. And, to my surprise the water was crystal clear. You could see everything below you. It was a definite welcome relief as many of the beaches near LA are anything but clear. Plus, you have the added bonus of swimming with beer bottles, condom wrappers and broken glass (hey don't get me wrong I still love these beaches), but it was just a nice change).

Before we knew it we were swimming in Dennis, a small town in the Cape. We had no intentions of swimming but when we pulled over and went down to the water it looked far too tempting to enjoy from afar.

Of course, since we hadn't planned on swimming we didn't have our bathing suits on hand. Well, you think I am going to let a small detail like that get in our way- NO! So, we walked back to the car and I went to work looking for anything we could use to swim in (our own clothes were off limits seeing we were wearing jeans). I was able to find a pair of shorts and a tank top for Becky but they still left me short a proper swimming ensemble. Thankfully I had packed for emergencies (hey this could constitute a minor road trip disaster) and I was able to cut off a pair of pajama bottoms. I already had towels in my trunk for when I go camping so we were ready to go.

It was around 6:30PM when we left the tranquil and stunning setting of Cape Cod. I was sorry to leave. I could understand why people decide to pack up their city life and head out to places like the Cape and live. I was there a day and never wanted to leave. I was so enveloped by my surroundings I failed to actually get out and promote in the Cape. I just felt so nice to sit on the beach and just breathe in the fresh air and stare out at the ocean before me. But as Scarlet said, "Tomorrow is another day." Yes, I will be out pounding the pavement and working closer and closer to making my dreams a reality bright and early tomorrow.

In closing I would like to go over today's journal lessons. One, there could very well be a ghost who lives at the tomb of Ben Franklin's parents tomb (this is not a joke folks). Two, when in a pinch you can make your own bathing suit. And three, do not wear metal underwear if you plan on going to the airport. Okay, this was not covered in this journal entry but I just was told of this information and thought I should share such words of wisdom with you all. So when you are headed out to the airport just remember to do a check, it could save you from the hassle of being reprimanded by airport security.
Love,
Stephanie

Fudge Chunks, Giving Blood & Endings

Hello to all my online friends...Please don't hate me for lack of online communication over the last week or so as it has been absolutely crazy. There is much to share so I will attempt to explain all over the course of the next few journal entries.

It all started two weeks ago while I was in Vermont fundraising. The day ha started like any other. I had driven to Montpelier, as it was the capital and I thought it would be a good place to make my presence known. However, upon my initial drive through the town I wasn't sensing too many places that I could get out and park. So I decided to drive forty-five minutes to Burlington, Vermont. This was of course, after I made a stop at the Ben & Jerry's ice cream factory in Waterbury (Originally I thought to fundraise there but since it was all enclosed parking within the Ben & Jerry confines it was a big no-no). Note to reader the new oatmeal cookie chunk ice cream is definitely worth trying (I could have lived without the darn fudge chunks though. Am I the only one out there who does not take a fancy to fudge chunks?).

Okay, back to the story at hand. I arrived in Burlington and decided to drive until I found a good spot. Well, as you may or may not know I am a firm believer in karma and how everything you put out will come back to you multiplied. What does this have to do with anything you ask? Well, when I saw the sign by the local university that said "Give Blood Today," I knew that I just had to donate. I decided at that very moment that donating blood would be an integral part in my overall mission's success (little did I know what kind of success). Maybe this all sounds strange (would you expect anything less from me?) but the way I see how can I expect others to want to help me if I don't help back?

So, I headed over and I donated blood. Indeed, as I sat lying back in my chair with a tube stuck into my arm watching 'League of Their Own" on the TV in front of me, I felt good. Even though the young woman drawing my blood shook her head and seemed thoroughly confused when I discussed my trip, I still felt like I was doing something of value.

Of course, upon my departure from the facility I wasn't expecting to have a large iodine stain on the inside of my right arm that was only slightly covered by the white gauze and tape that I was instructed not to take off for five hours. (Surely, if cranky Bob in St. Paul could see me now he would assume he had the evidence of my drug problem).

Well, I ended up at the pier on Lake Champlain where people were out bicycling, roller blading, jogging, running and walking. After my initial thought of "don't these people work" I parked in the meter parking on the street near the waterfront park. For some reason the people in Vermont didn't seem to get me (at least my mission anyway). After two hours I had only made five dollars so I decided to call it quits for the day. By now my arm was hurting and I was dying of thirst so I didn't really desire standing out in the sun any longer.

I grabbed a bottle of water, my notebook and headed down to a bench that over looked the water and watched the magnificent sun set. I love these moments of self-reflection where time seems to sit still and the world around me seems to disappear before my very eyes. The only thing that seems to exist is the seemingly endless water before me.

Of course, these moments of self-reflection can often lead me to ponder whether I should give up the dreams that have become the fabric of my life. Usually such notions occur when I am nestled near the water as the waves crash at my feet and I watch the sun set in the west. These moments make me yearn for a simple and peaceful world where there are no rat races, road rage, rejection, egos and pompousness.

Stevie Nicks has this great line in one of her songs that says, "if I had my life to live over I would never dream." Wouldn't it be so easy not to dream? To have no missing pieces? To always fill complete? To go through the motions of life and be content. Everyday I can feel myself getting closer to my dreams but at the same time the void seems to grow larger. But the truth of the matter is I can give it all up. No one is pointing a gun to my head. I have made the choice to continue and pursue my dreams, no one else has. I often wonder about the person that I would be now, had I given it all up the first time I was rejected and discouraged. Where would she be today? Would a fire still burn within her soul? I guess I will never know what would have become of her but I know what will become of me.

On that note I will end this entry. My adventure in Vermont is just
beginning and sadly my mission could be ending. My next entry will give the details...

Love,
Stephanie

Taco Bell, Jim & A New Battery

Well, I know I ended the last entry on a rather peculiar note but I wanted to break up the stories over a couple of entries, as opposed to one long lengthy journal.
So when I last left off I was in Vermont. After watching the sunset in Vermont I decided to get out of Vermont. It was after nine when I got on the freeway and around eleven o' clock when I needed to alleviate at myself from all the water I had drunk in the last few hours (I guess that's the nice way of saying I had to pee). I was lucky enough to find a Taco Bell off the freeway that was open to 1AM (too bad it was a Taco Bell and not a Del Taco)..

When I got back to my car I was feeling good and pumped to drive (you can thank the large coke I bought for that one). Yeah, I am ready to go....Too bad my car wasn't. After putting my keys in the ignition my car did not start. Now I wasn't as concerned since the same thing happened to me while I was in St. Paul, so I just figured it was just another random freak occurrence. Unfortunately, I soon realized there would be one major difference between what happened in St. Paul and what was happening now- this time my car WOULDN'T START. Oh, need to fear I have a cell phone and can call my roadside assistance- I don't think so. I did not have cell phone service the entire time I was in Vermont. Apparently my Cingular Wireless
plan does not have signals in Vermont. Luckily, the Taco Bell had a pay phone outside so I just had to take my information and travel a few feet to the pay phone outside...

I called the road side assistance that came with my car (for what I thought I was 7 years) but guess what the lady on the other end of the line informed me that my coverage expired after 36,000 miles and I was currently at 52,000. Now as you can imagine I was rather infuriated especially considering the fact I was going to buy AAA before I left just as an added protection but my mother assured me that it would not be needed because I had the same policy with Ford. Ugh.... Oh, but the women on the line told me should could give me the number of tow services in my area- too bad I had no idea where the hell that area was.

I hightailed my way back into Taco Bell asked the young kid where the hell I was and if he had a phone book I could borrow (and I really mean the kid was young. Have the child labor laws really given way to rules that allow 12 year olds to work at midnight? Okay, so maybe he wasn't 12 but he looked it).

Well, I'll spare you the details of all that transpired on my fateful Vermont evening (as I am at Kinko's and as you know they charge astronomical fees to use their damn computers) but here is the condensed version. I had to be towed to a Mobil station but since it was after midnight no one could work on my car until morning so I had to stay at the station until the morning when they could look at my car. Come morning Jim (the mechanic- or so he claimed to be) informed me it was my battery.

Let's cut to 11AM if you will. Jim has just finished my car and I am all set to go. One problem on my end- this entire episode cost me $300. Yes, you heard me. They charged me $85 to have my car towed and $50 to keep it stored at the station, $125 for the battery and he gave me a deal with the labor because he knew I was trying to make money and not spend it. Oh, wasn't that kind. If he was looking to be nice maybe he could have started by not charging me such astronomical figures in the first place. I don't know if this is how all stations are but it's not like I could necessarily take my car somewhere else. Needless to say after all this I was not exactly in the greatest of moods.

I suppose I should have expected such setbacks and could have even planned for them. But the truth of the matter is I went with a limited budget and didn't have the money to put aside for such problems. I am drowning in student loans (I pay more a month in student loans then I do when I pay rent. Yeah, the almighty education system) and other bills. I had planned my trip for two months as that is as far in advance I could pay all my bills for.. What will become of my trip?

And So It Begins... Again

Well, after this little incident I literally had just enough money to travel back another 3,000 miles home to California. Could this be true? Could I really be forced to end my mission just a month into my trip? Thus far I had made roughly $700 not even close to the $500,000 I am going for. I can't use the money I have made on my trip because then it would defeat the point of my having raised it in the first place. I raised this money for my movie not to fund me trying to raise it.

After I left Vermont I headed to my friend Becky's, where I knew there I could get a good night sleep, a shower and some verbal support. On my drive back to Boston I had to think long and hard about what I was going to do. I thought it was so ironic that only the night before I was pondering how easy it would be to give everything up, when here I was faced with that very reality.

My drive back was filled with images of all the places and people I had blessed to see on my trip. To end with only $700.. I could hear all the nay Sayers sending out their Hallmark cards reading, "I told you so." Could they be right? Could I allow them to be right? As such thoughts filled my head I realized that no matter what this trip wasn't over. Not by a long shot. I have this mission to collect one dollar from every person in America so I can make my movie, and you know what I am going to do just that. Nothing has to change just because I have had a minor setback, all it means is that I have to revise and improve upon the foundation I have already laid. If anything this trip has provided me the framework to know my strengths and weakness about my mission. One thing that has struck me has been the response from people online. I have gotten tons of emails from absolute strangers who are rooting me on from all over the USA (including some in Canada and the UK). A surprising number of them have told me to put up a Pay Pal account on my site so people who I am not in direct contact with can still donate a dollar to the Dollar 4 a Dream cause.

I think people who are in the confines of their own environment and who can read about me and my mission on their own terms are more willing to understand my passion and dedication to this cause. My friend Becky brought up an interesting pint when she said people are a lot more guarded when you approach them on the street. Case in point when we went to Cape Cod. This nice guy came up to us and asked if we wanted to play some weird beach game he had invented. He was by himself and you needed a large group of people to play the game. As soon as he came over we became guarded. We both thought that he was trying to sell us something- he wasn't. But you automatically take that "no thank you" role.

I have been lucky with people on the street responding well but when I think about how many people congregate onto the world wide web everyday- its in the millions. If I can get the word out about my website to all the message boards, online groups, etc. then I can reach people at a massive scale that I cannot do from the road. There are so many ways to reach people online and best of all its free (permitted you aren't doing so from Kinko's). Plus, do you remember when you were in middle school and had to learn about the birds and the bees. Remember the whole spiel about how when you sleep with one person you are really sleeping with a hundred other people (okay, so that's not exactly how it went but I am sure you get my drift). They would show you the diagram of the one person and all the people that were interconnected to the original person. Okay, so maybe this isn't the greatest example to give you all but it was the only one I could think of.

Anyway, I thought I could apply the same principal to my mission (no it doesn't require sleeping with anyone to get a dollar if that's what you were thinking). If every person that reads my journals told say five of their friends to donate a dollar and to tell these five people to tell their friends- then you get this whole chain reaction thing going on and it starts to add up (I am hoping I haven't lost you all yet)..

I guess what this all amounts to is the fact that there is so much more work for me to do on the Dollar 4 a Dream front. Yes, I have had to cut my trip a month short but in reality everything is just beginning. My job now is to take my same mission, enthusiasm and unwavering dedication to a whole new level and to a whole new audience. I have said this before and I will say it again- by this time next summer I will be in production (or getting ready for production) on my first movie. What does this mean? It means I have a lot of work to do. It's funny really how fast my own rejection from the whole car deal turned into something that has given me even more fuel and energy to strive ahead. I don't care if they lock the doors and throw away the keys I will find a way to plow the doors down myself.

I guess for some people all these things that have happened to me over the course of the last few years have been signs for me to give up. They assume that I am obviously being told by higher powers that I should call it quits. But on the contrary, I see them as indicators of how much I want all this. How much am I willing to fight to make my dreams a reality? I am not going to lie to you - it's hard. There are times when you feel like pushing your head through a wall (or in many cases someone else's), and you are exhausted and on the verge of questioning your own sanity. But the truth of it is- how great will it be when all my dreams are one day realized? The day when I sit in a darkened theater with a crowd of people and I see the words "A Stephanie Webster Film," cross the screen. It will be a day long in the making. And, it will be a day that I can be proud of for the rest of my life. Not because I made a movie but because I never sacrificed what I believed in, because I never gave up, and because most of all I had a dream and I saw it through to the very end. If I have anything to offer you all it is that. Don't give up my friends- if you have a dream see it through. I'm going to make it and so are you!

Remember its not over- it's just beginning.
Love, Stephanie