Pieces of Me...

Pieces of April was on cable last night and I found myself watching it yet again. I really love that movie. I was actually apprehensive about seeing it, being I’m not the biggest Katie Holmes fan. However, once I discovered the small film on DVD earlier this year- I’ve been a fan since.

The filmmaker has said that he couldn’t get all the money they needed to make the film but he went ahead and made it anyway for $200,000. You can tell the movie was shot on digital but I actually think it adds to the film. And all these great actors like Patricia Clarkson and Oliver Platt agreed to do the film for basically nothing.

Every time I watch this film it’s like getting a swift kick in the bum… Even if I have to make my film for peanuts it will be made. God bless the amazingly talented Peter Hedges…

Early Morning Musings....

Okay, so I’m having serious issues as of late in regard to my sleep patters. I can’t sleep. However, I tend to do my best writing/thinking when this occurs.

So about 3 in the morning I was suddenly hit with the idea- why don’t I direct my film? I mean I wrote the thing, I am going to fund it- why not direct it?

And I started thinking about the reasons why I didn’t want to direct it. All of them were because I felt I didn’t have the experience to back me up. But then I realized what first time filmmaker does? Who knows these characters more than me? Who knows the ins and outs of the script? Every single scene, line of dialogue, etc. I see in my head. I visualize what I want it to look like. What music I want in the background.

It’s funny because I started to wonder if I would have the same feelings if I was a man. I think if I was a guy it would much easier for me to feel “worthy” of directing. I think men are more inclined to just jump right in especially if it’s their own work they are telling.

After I worked as a Production Assistant on a few shows I noticed how the male PA’s that did well would be given “male” tasks like working with the cameras, assisting the sound department, etc. I was a good PA and because of that I was asked to work as an Assistant to certain people and do the “office” kind of stuff. That’s nice and all but why I can’t I hold the camera or do other non-office related tasks? Is there any wonder why there are so few women working as feature film directors and cinematographers?

Of course, this is all early morning ramblings but it has certainly given me something to think about.

The Cat Days of Summer...

Apparently everyday is a lazy day of summer for my cats. To be a cat. What a life....

Getting to Know You....

I recently came across a questionnaire on http://dreaminlarge.blogspot.com so I thought I would answer a similar one here. I'm not sure if it will help or hinder my crazy image ....


5 Years Ago Today: Living in a New York City. Going to college and engaging in certain costly schemes.

5 Things I would do with $100,000,000: Fund all my own movies, buy a beach house, give money to friends/family members, donate to charity, and buy the Dyson DC 14 Vacuum (hey a girl can dream can't she?)...

5 Artists/Bands that I know Most of the Lyrics To: Carly Simon, Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks, Sheryl Crow, Elton John, and Joni Mitchell.

5 New Artists/Bands I Enjoy: Nico/The Velvet Underground, Chantal Kreviazuk, Iron & Wine, Claudine Longet and Hope Sandoval (So, I admit none of the above mentioned are actually new artists, but having only recently started to listening to them they are new to me).

5 Snacks I Enjoy: redvines, spinach dip, sourdough bread, Coldstones ice cream (special shoutout to Dawnmarie and Brandy-My former Coldstone partners in crime) and essentially anything from the unhealthy carb family.

5 Bad Habits I Have: Squinting, not saying "hello" or "goodbye" in telephone conversations, biting the caps on my pens, swishing caffeinated beverages, and more squinting...

5 People I Would Most Like to Work With: Blythe Danner, Gena Rowlands, James Garner, Carol Burnett and Shirley MacLaine.

5 TV Shows I Like: Gilmore Girls, Medium, Golden Girls (it doesn't say anything about them being current TV shows), Judging Amy and Joan of Arcadia (the last two both have been cancelled by the evil CBS. I hate CBS! I hope all of your new shows fail miserably this season. )

5 Movies I Like: Manny & Lo, The Goodbye Girl, Overboard, The Turning Point and The Four Seasons.

The Home Depot Encounter

After work tonight I stopped off at Home Depot to pick up a few things. While placing my items in my trunk this young guy pulled up next to me and asked about the “Dollar 4 a Dream” logo on the side of my car. I explained to him the story and he shook his head and gave me that look I’ve been witness to many, many times before. It’s the look that says, “I think you’re crazy but I admire your chutzpah” kind of acknowledgement.

This same person began to walk away but stopped a good fifteen or so feet away. He turned back to me and asked, “What’s your name?” I was a bit thrown off by his question but I answered back, “Stephanie.”

He then asked, “Stephanie, what?” Before I could answer he said that he wanted to know my name, “because you never know.” Apparently I was just crazy enough to this complete stranger, to where he could actually believe I might make it and get my film made. He kept repeating “you really just never know.” And then he said that maybe years from now he could tell people he ran into me at the home depot.

After he walked away I couldn’t help but feel strangely happy. Here was the total stranger who after meeting me for just a brief moment, had more faith in me than some individuals I’ve known my whole life. So, to this unnamed stranger in the Home Depot parking lot, thank you for reminding me that just maybe I’m not so nutty after all.

The Final Act....

While visiting a friend this past weekend in Northern California I was lucky enough to take in a Stevie Nicks concert. The woman is amazing. To see her in concert is to be apart of something that is beyond words. She is truly one of the greatest singer/songwriters ever.

As much as I enjoyed the concert there was a part of me that couldn’t help but be a little sad. I was sad because I wondered how many more years and decades the world would have left to experience this remarkable performer. Of course, she is only 57, but there will come a point when she will step down and pass the torch over.

It’s not the aging part that I think about. It’s the moving on and the final act in one’s life. I think about how lucky I was to know and be witness to certain individuals who have helped shape the person I am today. People in my own life, who are in a sense, living their final act. Of course, I know that life can’t go on forever and our life can be taken away at any time. But I still can’t help but think about this large group who are with us, and those like my mother who have already passed on. All these incredible people: our grandparents, mothers, friends, confidants, mentors.

All of these greats that have come before - will leave. Of course, their marks will never fade but their departure will open the door for the new. And this leaves me wondering-who will come next? Will my generation rise to the challenge? The so called Generation X’ers? Who amongst the group will rise to the challenge of these people before?

I recently came across an article that said Generation X is made up of “cynical, hopeless, frustrated and unmotivated slackers who wear grunge clothing, listen to alternative music and still live at home because they cannot get real jobs”. Yes, this could classify a few (within any generation for that matter) but I can’t believe that is the majority.

Yes, we have big shoes to fill, no doubt about it. But I am more than confident we can rise to the challenge. After all, we have/had the very best to learn from.